Current mood:	confused
Current music:	Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers

#111: love, actually is all around
Okay so I planned to upload photos and spam the blog with photos today but I'm too lazy. Haha as usual. Tomorrow! Shall do it during the day when I have hours and hours of free time. Had a really busy week. Ex-neighbors came over from Singapore (haha Shoo Avenged Sevenfold) so we had some multi-family gatherings. I just got back a while ago and just finished watched Love Actually on TV while waiting for my hair to dry; I still cry at the same parts even though I've seen it like ten million times. Heee. 

I super super miss being a kid right now. It's beginning to really sink in that school's starting again, that I'm going to be far away from almost everyone and everything I know. Life was truly awesome as a kid. I think I had a pretty good childhood; it was nice and there are a lot of good times that I can vaguely remember. It's a bit strange how stuff like this only feels like it mattered years and years down the road. When everything's so different that I can hardly believe that everything I vaguely remember actually happened. It's so strangely surreal. 

And somehow it seems like life feels less perfect as we get older. I'm not about to start complaining that life sucks and blah blah blah, but I honestly think so and I'm really trying to come to terms with EVERYTHING right now. Sometimes I'm just plain scared of going away. I don't like it when people talk about how I'm going to be so far away and in future we probably won't see each other anymore. I want to keep in touch with everybody and a few years down the road we'll all reunite and shriek and hug at the airport like they did in Love Actually. :) I know that I'm making the right decision with regard to The Future, and I know everyone else is probably going through the same thing, but what if everything isn't what I expected it to be? 

When I was little everytime we moved I'd make a huge fuss and usually beg my parents to let me stay where I am. I'd think that it was going to be horrible and that I was going to hate the place immensely. But it always turned out fine, much better than I expect at least. Now it's weird because I'm making the decision to go away from where I'm comfortable, and I actually think that things are going to be fine, and probably even better. So for some reason I have a feeling that it's going to suck because everything's always not what I expect... 

I'm just really sick of analyzing my life. I'm tired of thinking about this and that and trying to come up with random pointless conclusions. I just really miss the times when all that seemed to matter were not pissing my mom off and playing stupid games with my little friends. Yeaaaah so whatever I think it's time to stop. And just whack. Hahaha not really into making plans anyways I just need random bursts of happiness once in a while to keep me going. Quoting www.givesmehope.com, "Life is beautiful today!"  Yeah GMHers, optimism ftw. 

Lol still wanna be a kid again for a while. But wth I'm 18 years old and life has to go on. Woohoo. Enough of this crap photos tomorrow and I'm off to watch shows until my eyes cannot stay open any longer. 

By the way I am rather bummed that Andy Roddick lost today. Hahah bleagh. Whatever. Byeee.