Current mood:	numb
Current music:	Tiger Lily - Matchbook Romance

#103: hit restart, pause it at our favorite parts, skip the goodbyes
I am completely numb with respect to everything that is happening in my life right now. 
I think about a lot of things daily, but they don't make me feel sad. Or happy. Or anything at all really.
I feel like I'm really growing up? And honestly it scares me. 

Okay so One Tree Hill was showing on TV today. Random episode from S5 which felt quite relevant to life nowadays coincidentally. 

"Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you.  But as you get older you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize the plans you made were simply plans. Because at the end when you’re looking back instead of forward you wanna believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You wanna believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered." 

And then I was thinking like because OTH shows the characters during high school, and then after high school, which is kinda like what a lot of us J3s are going through right now. And they are obviously a lot more grown-up in S5, compared to the earlier seasons which I'd been catching up on (I really have a lot of time I know). Life out of school seems way different and so much more unprotected. September is getting nearer and nearer. I'm going to be living by myself and taking care of myself from September onwards!! I'm excited, but really really scared too. Plans almost never follow through (by plans I mean relatively realistic hopes and dreams), so who knows what we're in for man.

 I think I got over everything already. Totally ready to move on with life. It's just that there are days in the past which are very worth reliving, and moments that really feel like they matter. Hopefully there'll be a lot more to come in the future? 

Haha but whatever all thoughts will be put on hold when I go to China which is in ONE DAY! Whoohoo. Slightly bummed that I can't watch American Idol on TV but oh well there's always greatstufftv. Tomorrow will be spent packing :( and starting S3 of Prison Break. I'm getting addicted hahaha I highly recommend it. Aight that's it.